BY WHO IS WEB?©

Do you love to laugh?…. you know, that outrageous, uncontrollable laughter, because something is so funny you have no other choice?  The rolling on the floor, glad you’re not old enough to worry about an ‘accident’, make it stop….my belly hurts, laughter?  It’s one of my favorite things to do, and I love being around funny people.  Laughter is purifying for the soul, and should be done on a regular basis to keep our psyche’s well lubricated. As the the youngest of 5 educated, well mannered, loud, funny and creative children (my mom made me say that), I had no choice but to find my niche early on.  Art?  Loved it always…. my Grandfather was an artist, so it runs in the genes, and I’m one of the lucky ones to whom it comes fairly naturally.  That doesn’t mean I think I’m Picasso, it just means that I am  capable….anyone who has tried any art medium knows what I’m talking about.  I still paint regularly, and find it one of the most relaxing and gratifying things I do.  Sports?

To tell the truth, by 5th grade, field hockey had permanently indented my shins enough times for me to know that a lifetime of sanctioned injuries was not being approved by me.  And please don’t ask me to sing…you’ll regret it for days (I’ve been told), although if your repertoire consists primarily of summer camp songs, I’ll be happy to bang along on the piano for you.  The point is, like most every other human, I had to find my way, and what I found was that no matter the situation;  how silly, or how grave, laughter was sort of a guarantee that I would come out the other side.   We had one of those homes that was always full……at any given time kids of different ages (I’m 12 years younger than my oldest sibling), doing various activities, could be found in any number of the favorite hangouts in and around the house.  But dinner time was different …..we all came together.  And despite my mom’s insistence on proper grammar, manners and some form of etiquette, sitting around that table never failed to provide a belly full of laughs along with good food.  My oldest brother and one of his best friends would crack jokes, or have funny dialogues between themselves that had everyone at the table in stitches,  especially my father (a serious business man…..with a wicked sense of humor).   So laughter was important, but making someone laugh…..now that was gold.  Humor is a universal language that can calm the masses……and make your face ache.  It’s also pretty easy to find some sort of humor in almost any situation.   They were lessons I learned early.  Giggle lots, crack-up often, chuckle, guffaw, or snort if you must…….and if you can make others laugh-then by all means, have at it……but just laugh.

But wait a minute, this is McAfee Weekly, not WEB weekly..LOL  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯    I just thought I’d share a piece of me that may give some insight into why I don’t take all this too seriously.  John McAfee is a joker….an admitted prankster, who loves to make people laugh…..and who, I’ve found out, has quite a laugh himself.  It’s one of those chuckles that comes from the tips of his toes, rolling up to his belly and bursting out as side-splitting laughter ……which then, by infectious nature alone, cracks me up too.  And when he’s trying to pull my leg, those years spent as the ‘little one who didn’t get the joke’ (but who laughed anyway) come in handy, and I can hear – ever so slightly – the change in tone that let’s me know I’m about to be punk’d.  But have no fear…….this attempted victim of the punk has had some experience being the punk-er, and just can’t let it go to waste.   It was last week.  Having veered off in several directions already, we were trying to get back to the subject at hand, and see if we had missed anything.  I said I would compile it all, and let him know if I had any other questions.  In a completely normal voice, John agreed, but added  “And then, we never talked about why I feel it’s extremely important, when you leave your lover, to kill them and eat them.” one, t…. “Okay, go for it” I threw in.  He continued “that’s something we didn’t talk about, so we can save that for next time if you’d like.”  “Oh, I’d love to hear about it” I said, not missing a beat.  I got back a stunned “Pardon?”

I repeated myself, adding I might know some good reasons for doing it too.  It was really hard not to laugh.  This time his voice changed quite a bit “I’m joking.  You know I’m Joking, right?”  Well, that was it for me, and I burst into laughter…… but John was still silent.  “Of course I know you’re joking” I managed to get out between the chuckles that didn’t want to stop.  “OK, alright” he said relieved.  I told him I was a smart ass from way back, appreciated all kinds of humor (except if someone gets hurt…that’s never funny), and wasn’t shocked by anything he had said to me.  He laughed, and said “that’s good”, but that momentary doubt had brought back memories of the countless MSM ‘reporters’ who’d recently failed miserably at recognizing his humor.

The following week, we picked up right where we left off….talking about how dense and robotic so many of the “reporters” he spoke to had been.  And it wasn’t the first time he’d found them to be that way…… I was sure he would mention a couple of reporters whose stories we knew from following wim……. maybe a good example, but not what I was hoping to talk about.  He asked if I had ever read the article in the Village Voice, about the legal battle between Yoga Master, Bikram Choudhury and his former student Greg Gumucio?  As much as I like to read, I had to admit that piece hadn’t made it to the ‘must read’ list…… really, who? I hadn’t forgotten that John spent years in Colorado deeply ensconced in the Yoga world, but really didn’t know any details.  That time of his life is on my list, I just didn’t think we were going there today.  And we weren’t…..he just wanted to make sure the background was clear.  Greg Gumucio had been a favored student of Bikram Choudhury, who is world known, and teaches ‘hot’ yoga.  Their relationship the article says, was very close, and for years Greg followed the master’s every word…..even getting a divorce at his insistence.

The Village Voice said : “Yet their friendship began to strain in 2000.  That’s when Gumucio met John McAfee, a software billionaire turned yoga teacher, and visited his Colorado estate.  The pair immediately clicked.  Soon, McAfee was inviting him to teach at a retreat, spending several days in nature practicing yoga in complete silence.  By the time it was over, Gumucio decided he wanted to teach multiple forms of yoga, incorporating McAfee’s ‘kriya’ method, which focuses on the spine.”  

This was disturbing news to Choudhury, who felt a sting of betrayal at seeing his protege take on a new mentor, and said “You cannot be a fucking prostitute.  You can’t have your feet in two holes.”

On the other hand, JM’s direct quote to Rebecca is very different … “Greg was one of my students when I began the relational yoga studio in Woodland Park, and I believe he was also a student of Bikram at the time.  He was a good student, I remember.  I wouldn’t say it was a particularly close relationship.  He came up to the lodge quite often; he came to do the breath-work classes and the hatha yoga, but I had a lot of students at the time, and I wasn’t close with any of them.”  

JM also remembers being slightly shocked when Greg reveal his intention to change course, and leave Bakrim,  saying “You might want to rethink following me….. I don’t know where I’m going, and when I get bored of it all, I’m leaving.”  When I laughed at the statement he had just made, he agreed it may have sounded funny, but it was true.  The yoga had started out because he was bored and it was fun.

Of John, Gumucio is quoted as saying “He taught me many things.  Really, he is a genius and brilliant” .

Eventually Greg G. did open his own yoga studios, and in the beginning at least, Choudhury did not react.  Then, Gumucio’s business directly interfered with Bikram’s income….. two of his studios were closed as a direct result of the competition from Greg.  A series of cease and desist letters and threats of lawsuits ensued, culminating into one of the biggest lawsuits in US history.  And no wonder, yoga sales are predicted to reach 8.3 billion by 2016, so this ‘don’t take a slice of my pie’ attitude should be expected (sadly).

And in Belize, JM hadn’t given either man a thought until one night in July 2012, shortly after 11 pm, the phone rang, and a woman, a reporter for the Village Voice who identified herself as Rebecca Moss, wanted a quote from him about the lawsuit.  In less than 30 seconds, he had provided her with everything he could…”I’m sorry I can’t help you, I didn’t know about the lawsuit”.  And that would have been the end of it, but apparently she wanted more.  “What are you doing now?” she asked.    Hmmm…. it was after 11, he didn’t know her, or how she got his number …… “Observational Yoga” he replied, then waited for her to laugh.  “It’s fun…really a good time” he continued.  Still no laughter….could she really think he was serious?  And JM, too quick to let an opportunity like this slip away, ran with it.  “The benefits are amazing.   First of all, it’s great for the economy.  And for the environment…..not as many gyms are needed,

saving vast amounts of  energy.  Everyone can go watch, and feel the profound impact of Observational Yoga”.   I sat listening with my mouth open….good for the economy usually means jobs, but one center per town contradicts that right off the bat…??? John kept going  “By simply watching, the body goes through a physiological change, and reaps the benefits as though it had done the physical work.  She kept asking questions….”how much does it cost?”  “what is the typical age range?”  How she didn’t catch on here is beyond me.  “Well, our largest age group is 18-25.  For some reason, the older generation just doesn’t trust it”  John continued…..” And we are growing all the time, with franchise opportunities on the horizon.”  How was he not laughing hysterically?  “The most exciting part of this has been our studies into other fields.  Observational weight training, self-help, even an Observational driving school.  We believe that eventually, all things will be learned and ailments cured through osmosis, the basic principle of Observational ‘anything’… well, almost every human activity”.  “Almost?” she said, falling hook, line and sinker, “so it doesn’t work for everything?”  Shocked by her continued belief, JM just kept going

(he does admit to feeling a little bad)  “We have concluded that actions requiring very small or limited movement do not work.  For a whole week we had students Observing concert pianists, but not one of them could play at the end of the study.  We had no choice but to determine that due to limited quantum movements, small actions could not be learned through osmosis, and would not be deemed Observational.”  He ended with the pièce de résistance, “This will make my roll at McAfee (Anti-virus) look like nothing in comparison.”  He didn’t tell me how long he laughed for, but I can imagine it was a long time.

The rest as they say, is history.  By the time the article was printed, in the Denver Westword blog, the author was (barely) entertaining the possibility that it had been a hoax.  Her headline:

John McAfee: Anti-virus king turned relational yoga inventor talks latest endeavor (or prank?)

The question mark alone shows her reluctance to discount what JM had said, quite possibly wondering if she had just broken one of the biggest stories of the decade. The wild fire effect was in full swing, and articles mimicking Rebecca’s started popping up.  It’s amusing to read, that despite the lingering doubt, completely discounting the article, more specifically JM, was not something many people would do.  We really have to talk MSM.

so this is really a THING now, eh?

observational yoga: software entrepreneur & murder suspect john mcafee’s contribution to yoga

ummmmm….NEVER was a murder suspect

Turns out “observational yoga” is a thing…

It’s all Yoga Baby FB

No wonder the media conjures up images of sheep; those links are just a small smattering of the stories that merely regurgitated the original one, or quoted it outright, then gave an opinion (sic) or had a comment stream.  It’s frustrating enough to see the same thing printed over and over again, without anyone checking on the validity of what was written.  I can only imagine what it feels like when you’re the subject of the nonsense, often spinning out of control.  I’ve concluded that’s probably a good thing we  both love to laugh, and share a cheeky side (is it the British heritage?)……prompting me to say to John, “bless your pointed little head”, and thank you.

©WEB~2013