The McAfee central America Travel Guide

As all of my close friends know, I have not always been a teetotalling, drug fighting citizen.  Prior to 1983 I was a synthesis of corporate manager and drug dealer.  The drug dealer eventually won out, and for a period of time that was my only occupation.  Well ….. taking the drugs that I sold also became a principal occupation.  This is not a secret, I tell anyone who asks, even the press.   Not many in the press reported much about it, until Josh Davis’ eBook came out.  I am not ashamed of my past.  Our collective pasts make us who we are.  In 1983 I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and gave up alcohol and drugs entirely.  My exceptions are coffee, which some classify as a drug, and, occassionally, cigarettes.  Not proud of the cigarettes, I know thay are bad.

During my drug dealing days I became adept at those talents required of a successful drug dealer: clandestine travel through the Third World countries that produce and transport the goods; dealing with corrupt officials; dealing with drug lords and druck traffickers; successfully passing checkpoints; bribery, and in emergencies, the methods of escape.

I am a firm believer that all experience can be a valid teacher if a person listens to experience with unclogged ears.  Since it is a Saturday and I’ve had a tiring week, I will take a break from the task at hand and use what little I have learned to assist travelers that might appreciate the rewards of travelling off the beaten path in third world countries. It should also assist anyone engaging in questionable activities.  If a person does not directly harm another, then I try not to judge.  You might call this McAfee’s Travel Guide:

In order to make the most of your travels, you need to first understand that, throughout much of the Third World, there is a smoothly functioning “system” in place that has evolved over centuries. From the First World perspective it is a “corrupt” system, and indeed, at the higher levels there is no other word for it, and this blog’s purpose is to remove the brutality and horror of such high level corruption.  At the lower levels, however, the system contains an element of grace and humanity, and this lower lever is all that most people will ever encounter.  You might still call this lower level “corruption”, but that’s not a helpful word if you want to acquire the most effective attitude for dancing with it. I prefer “negotiable”. It focuses the mind on the true task at hand when dealing with officialdom and removes any unpleasant subconscious connotations. So if you can view the following tools and tips as negotiation guidelines it will help bring the necessary smile to your face when the situation requires one.

Press Credentials

The most powerful tool a traveler can possess is a Press card. It will allow you to completely bypass the “documentation” process if you have limited time or limited funds and don’t want to deal with it. I have dozens stashed in all my vehicles, in my wallet, in my pockets, in my boats.  You might ask, since I claim to be an upstanding citizen, why I would need such deception.  It is because I am one of the few white men who chose to live part time in the interior of the country.  I was one of only three white guys living in the district of Orange Walk, for example. I have cars and enjoy driving and I travel frequently.  Not a day went by without having go through a “checkpoint” of some kind.


I am paranoid about being caught without one when I need one. They have magical properties if the correct incantations are spoken while producing them. A sample incantation at a police checkpoint (this will work in any Central American country):

(Spoken before the officer has a chance to say anything) – “Hi, I’m really glad to see you.” (produce the press card at this point). I’m doing a story on Police corruption in (fill in country name) and I would love to get a statement from an honest police officer for the story. It’s for a newspaper in the U.S. Would you be willing to go on record for the piece?” You can add or subtract magic words according to the situation. Don’t worry about having to actually interview the officer. No sane police person would talk to a reporter about perceived corruption while at the task of being perceived to be corrupt. He will politely decline and quickly wave you through. If you do find the rare idiot officer who wants to talk, ask a few pointed questions about his superiors and it will quickly awaken his sensibilities. He will send you on your way.

The press card is powerful, but has risks and limitations. Do not attempt this magic, for example, at a Federale checkpoint in Mexico on a desolate road late at night. You will merely create additional, and unpleasant work for the person assigned to dig the hole where they intend to place you.

Documentation

Documentation is the polite word for “cash”.

The real art of producing documentation is the subtle play of how much to produce. In some countries, a policeman makes less than a dollar an hour. At a checkpoint, a policeman will usually share his proceeds with the other officers lounging by the side of the road and with the police Chief. The Chief will get about 25% in countries like Colombia and Panama, so if there are three officers total, then a ten-dollar contribution will end up with about $2.50 in each person’s pocket – a good take for someone making about a dollar an hour in legitimate salary.

Nothing irks locals more than someone who produces documentation in excess of what is expected. It ruins the system for the rest of the population. The Police begin to expect more from everyone, and the populace is then burdened beyond any sense of reasonableness. I might mention that checkpoints for any given location in most countries are set up no more than once a week, and frequent travelers reach accommodations with the authorities so that they are not unnecessarily burdened to the point that they are single-handedly putting the policeman’s children through school. The police are, by and large, honest people with hearts, and few truly abuse the system.

So to give more than is reasonable is a crime against humanity. The following are some hard and fast formulas that I have learned from trial and error over the years:

Documentation is inversely proportional to traffic density – the higher the traffic, the less you pay, the lower the traffic the more you pay. This is simple economics: The police must make their personal quota from whatever traffic there is.

If you stop at a checkpoint and there are four or five cars in line, you can be assured that less than a couple of dollars will be expected from a Gringo. Smart folks carry a half dozen cold cokes and beers in a cooler in the backseat and simply reach around, grab one or the other and hand it out the window with a smile. In the late afternoon on a hot day, this will be received with far more appreciation than a few small coins. If you hand a cold drink to all of the officers, you could easily talk them into giving you a protective escort to the next town.

In low traffic areas, in addition to having to pay more, you will also entail more risk. It’s never good to travel lonely roads in Central America, unless you are very experienced or closely wired in to the authorities. However, if you’ve come down to do a dope score or are determined to visit sweet Crucita in some remote village and have no other choice, then strictly adhere to the following:

Do not get out of the car, even if ordered to do so. Your car is your only avenue of escape. It’s a ton or more of steel capable of doing serious harm to anyone foolish enough to stand in front of it, and once underway is difficult to stop. The checkpoint police in Central America never chase anyone down, in spite of years of watching U.S. Television and action movies. It’s too much work, plus they could have an accident. It’s not worth it for an unknown quantity. And they won’t shoot, unless you’ve run over one of them while driving off. It makes noise and wastes a round that they must account for when they return to the station – creating potential problems with the higher-ups. Not that I recommend running. It’s just that outside of the car you have lost the only advantage you have.

Smile and, if possible, joke. Say something like: “I’d like to stay and chat but I’m in a hurry to meet a girl. Her husband will be back soon.” This will go a long way toward creating a shared communion with the officers and will elicit a shared-experience type of sympathy.

Don’t wait for them to talk. Take the initiative. Have your documentation ready as you pull up and simply present it to the nice policeman while beginning your patter similar to the above, or whatever patter is comfortable for you. Never hand cash directly. Slip it in inside your insurance papers, or some other paperwork relating to your car or your journey, with about an inch of the banknote discretely sticking out. I use a Cannon Ixus 530 setup manual with the front and back cover removed. It’s small, light, and looks like it could be important paperwork for almost anything.

Remember: 50% of the police who stop you in some countries can’t read. This is a powerful piece of information for the wise.

Once the officer has removed the banknote, which will be immediate, reach out and retrieve your laptop manual (or whatever you choose to use), smile, wave and drive off immediately without asking permission, but slowly, without looking back. Doing the job and leaving quickly without appearing to hurry off is the key here. Don’t give them enough time to assess you.

The above is a failsafe formula for back roads of Central America if adhered to explicitly. Expect to part with at least 20 bucks. If, on approaching the checkpoint, you judge the police body language to be insolent or agitated, change the twenty for a fifty.

If something goes awry and the above, for some reason, has not worked, then pretend stupidity. Ask them to repeat everything they say and act bewildered. If ordered to get out of the car, smile broadly and simply drive off. Again – slowly.

If drugs or other contraband are planted in your vehicle by one of the police while another has your attention (a very common occurrence), understand, above all, that there is a zero probability that you will be arrested, unless you add to the “offense” by pissing someone off or otherwise acting unwisely. The intent is to scare. Under no circumstances deny that it is yours. Say something like “Damn, I thought I left that at home”, or “That’s the second time I’ve been caught this week.” This will show them that you are a good natured player and will probably negotiate. Denying ownership of the contraband will be seen as confrontational – an attitude that brings high risk when dealing with Third World authorities. The “documentation”, however, need not be much. They have chosen an approach to making a living that is universally considered by the locals as “not fair play”, and they should not be unjustly rewarded for it. Sure, they did go to the effort of distracting you, and someone had to go to the trouble to plant the dope, so they deserve something, but $5 is the maximum you need to pay. If they ask for more, then you can safely become indignant. They will shut up. The locals won’t tolerate police that take too much unfair advantage of the system, and your obvious awareness of the correct protocols will alert them to potential trouble if they push things.

If you actually are carrying contraband, of any kind – drugs, guns, Taiwanese sex slaves – whatever, and are caught, then the actions that you take within the first few seconds of discovery will have a profound impact on the rest of your life. The reality is: You have been caught. The officers have options:

1. Arrest you and charge you, where you are likely to confess to other people about exactly what you were carrying and how much – thereby limiting the policemen’s ability to make off with much of the cache. Or:
2. Come to some arrangement with you that is mutually beneficial and that does not include your demise, or create any undue risks to the officers’ jobs or safety.

Option 2 is obviously preferable. To anyone not fond of prisons, that is.

Your first order of business is to assess your situation. If you are in a town or even near one with reasonable traffic driving by, then the chances of your demise, or incurring harm to yourself, are virtually nil if you keep your wits about you. If you are on a lonely country road, and there is only one officer, or even two, your risks could be high, so you will be handicapped in your negotiations.

On your side, you have the option to go to jail and tell your story to lots of people, which generally restricts the officers’ abilities to make money on the encounter. The higher-ups will take it. On their side, they have the guns, and threats. Ignore the threats. You are fully cognizant of the fact that their sincere hope is that some accommodation can be reached that enriches their pockets and allows you to leave the area without compromising them.

So — first things first. Smile. There is no circumstance under which a smile will handicap you when dealing with authorities.

Be friendly in your speech and immediately and fully acknowledge your situation, and theirs. This puts them at ease and sets the framework for negotiation. Be polite but firm. Let them know that they will not be able to walk off with your entire stash, and do this early on. It creates more reasonable expectations in their minds. If your contraband is drugs, offer them a small hit while talking. It re-enforces, subconsciously, the idea that the dope is your possession and that they are partaking due entirely to your good will. If you are transporting sex slaves, then I must say first that I cannot possibly condone your chosen occupation, but -offering each one of the policemen a taste of the goods may well seal the deal without any additional cash thrown in.

It’s important to be firm without any semblance of hostility. If the policemen tell you, for example, that they are going to confiscate all of the goods, then, with an apologetic manner that implies an unfortunate certainty, say “I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible”. Shake your head sadly as if you had divulged: “My mom just died”. And this is the point to present them with an absurdly low offer. If you are carrying 20 keys of cocaine or a half ton of marijuana, then offer them $50. Alternatively, you could offer them a one ounce bag of the weed or a gram or so of the coke. If it’s sex slaves, tell them they can look at the bare breasts of one of the least attractive women (in parts of Southern Mexico, this might actually be sufficient).

They will be taken aback at your offer, but it will place any unreasonable expectations they may have in stark perspective. As a rule of thumb, if you are near a populated place, you will ultimately settle by parting with an amount of cash equal to about 10% of the wholesale value of the goods. On a road with infrequent and unpredictable traffic, maybe 20%. If you are on a desolate road, especially if the body language is not comforting, you may have to bite the bullet, give them the entire wad, plus your car, and ask for a ride to the bus station. Don’t expect the police to accept the drugs or contraband as payment if you are near a populated area. They would obviously be seen transferring the goods to their vehicles. If you are not carrying sufficient cash, then you are unprepared, and shouldn’t be doing shady deals in Central America.

Never display fear or hostility. Smile throughout, and crack what jokes you can.

Name Dropping

Knowing the name of the country’s Police Commissioner and Armed Forces Chief, and the Chief of Police for each county or town you will be driving through can be very helpful. Knowing all the mayor’s names will not hurt any either. Name-dropping is a powerful tool in the Third World, especially for gringos, if used appropriately. Telling a cop in America that you are friends with the mayor or the police chief will seldom help you avoid a traffic ticket, and may even increase the charges. In Belize, offending the Police Commissioner will immediately get a policeman fired, with no repercussions to the Commissioner, and, depending on the offense, may even get the officer “erased”. So it gives an officer serious pause when you say: “The drugs belong to Commissioner (insert name). I am delivering them to a friend for him”. If spoken with authority and condescension, they can have a dramatic effect. No policeman in his right mind would try to validate the story. Resident Gringos, for odd reasons, are prized as friends by wealthy and prominent locals, so it would not be out of the question to be close with the Country’s Police Commissioner. If the cop asks any specifics, like, how you know the Commissioner, pull out your cell phone and say: “I have the commissioner’s number, why don’t we call him and you can ask him yourself.” You need to have solid self-assurance, or at least some large cojones, to pull this off, but in a tough situation this can work miracles.

A small amount of research is necessary before using this approach. You need to know, for example, whether the police commissioner is really dealing drugs (almost all are). Every local inhabitant in the country will know this information (there are no secrets in the Third World). The policeman will certainly know.

You don’t have to be doing something illegal in order to use the name-dropping approach. When a friend of mine first moved to Belize, two policemen stopped him late in the evening while he was driving a golf cart across the bridge to San Pedro’s North Island. Before he could provide the proper “documentation” for a bridge checkpoint, one officer harshly demanded his drivers license, which he provided and then shut up. The officer’s attitude was not in harmony with a normal checkpoint situation. While he stared at my friend’s license, the other dropped a bag of weed on the back floor of the cart. (he didn’t smoke weed by the way.) When the first officer “discovered” the bag my friend said: “I hope you won’t tell the Commissioner about this. He’s a very close friend of mine and I wouldn’t want him to think anything bad about me.” The first officer divulged that they were only joking by planting the weed. He apologized and waved my friend through.

Generally, the tactic of planting drugs on people is only practiced in heavily trafficked tourist areas. The police in tourist areas are handicapped because tourists generally don’t “pay their due” to the police, or to any other functionary. Tourists consider it”corrupt” to have to pay policeman to do their jobs, or to pay them in order to have the freedom to drive down the street on checkpoint day. The police therefore are forced to resort to unethical means in order to make a living in these places. I understand this well, yet some character flaw in myself won’t allow me to reward someone who plants drugs on me. My friend feels the same.

Gifts

Gifts occupy a different strata in the system of negotiation. They are used when some future consideration is required, or after an official favor has been provided. Gifts can be small or large, depending on the circumstances and the wise person will have an ample supply ready for any event. I operate seven small businesses in Belize.  When I first opened them I refused to acquiesce to my business manager’s advice about gifts. I naiively assumed I could skate by without them.  I was wrong, I finally allowed the guy to stock up on resources so that he could do the job I was paying him to do:

Now… to be fair to the authorities ….. I have no way of knowing whether these “gifts” were actually given to the authorities.  For all I know the business manager that I hired started his own retail outlet somewhere and is still living off of the proceeds. It’s difficult under certain circumstances to get at the facts.

Favors, likewise, are part of the system. They have no negative connotation, and they require gifts whose magnitude reflects the magnitude of the favor.

One common “favor” that is considered questionable is to gift an officer in the armed forces to provide armed support for a drug deal, a revenge raid, an armored car heist, or any similar function. It’s a very common occurrence but it’s deemed to be morally sketchy by most of the populace. The reason for this, I believe, is the sense of unease created by the image of highly organized, insolent, largely illiterate men with fully automatic weapons catering to the whims of anyone with spare change. The general consensus is that the system of “negotiation” should stop at the gates of the military. The military should uphold the system, not practice it, as my friend and philosopher Paz once said. This is no more illogical than policemen as “officers of the peace”. The fact that SWAT teams exist and every policeman carries a gun and is trained in violent tactics, should alert us to the fact that practicing peace is not the means of choice for maintaining peace.

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83 responses to “The McAfee central America Travel Guide”

  1. Riz Avatar

    Respected Mr. Mcafee, I have just come across your travel guide, and reading through it, in Pakistan, I can tell from experience, that the same applies, in exactly the same manner in Pakistan. Even though Belize and Pakistan be thousands miles apart, the mentality none the less remains the same. Your generalizations from your observations, are amazing, which obviously is not possible without keen eye for details with great analytical skills. Recommended read for anybody traveling to third world countries, check for the local variations though.

  2. Citizenella Avatar
    Citizenella

    The corruption in the destinations you name still exists..only it is not as openly displayed..and is a little more costly.

  3. Citizenella Avatar
    Citizenella

    I have only ever applied “measures” when actually “in custody” in the European realm…methods vary but essentially the “documentations”,although a little more expensive,are known to work..it often means a longer wait but the results are the same..the ability to walk out of a police station…this is a true story.

  4. Dan Avatar

    This is great stuff! I travel a lot to 3rd world countries and enjoy it as I am into travel & aerial photography. As a retired cop, I originally had a hard time with the payment idea you described, but on am on-board now. I have watched almost all your videos and stories and thought I was somewhat of an adventurer, but now realize I am not. You win big! Live a long and intriguing life and please continue the marvelous videos, I love them all.

  5. John Layne Avatar
    John Layne

    Dr. McAfee, I have spent the past thirty years perfecting an unbreakable encryption algorithm. My algorithm is not just unbreakable for all practical purposes it is theoretically unbreakable. The advent of quantum computers will not change this. The mathematics confirming my claim is indisputable. You no doubt have sufficient knowledge of mathematics and programming to understand my design. I will be happy to send you a copy of my patent application so you can evaluate the veracity of my claims if you will sign a notarized non-disclosure agreement. This has the potential to restore privacy to the world and make huge sums of money if it is done just right. I think someone like you would know how to approach the project correctly. I’d be interested in making this a joint venture if you are interested. Thank you for your consideration, John L.

  6. robert Avatar
    robert

    Just amazed to read this article. I just can’t think what could happen if I try these tricks in Spain or any other european country.

    Anyway it’s funny that here in Spain the highway patrols carry a Credit-card terminal so fined foreigners can pay on-the-go (or have their vehicle towed away). You can see it as an evolution of the bribes, but state-sponsored.

  7. Per Avatar
    Per

    Great interview on Alex Jones.

    Can you tell more about the language in those countries.
    Which languages do you often speak there?
    Will English work most times?

  8. Aaron Avatar
    Aaron

    Dear Sir ( John McAfee )

    More Power for you.

    You’re a monster with Heart. Flesh lives, Blood flows. I have friends like you.

    We need more like you to flush the anti-life, destructive psychopaths from Earth.

    Marko Rodin has the math for correct computer language. Research Binary triplets.

    The soft-cock namby-minded slaves need a wakeup and people like you are the 4×2 plank to do just that.

    Banks/government/military/corporate THINKING is NULL, VOID. These democide eugenics freaks had their chance. They messed-up.

    Free energy (no money required) is HERE. It is inevitable.

    We transition (return for those that know true History – research Bosnian Pyramids for fact) to the golden age of ORTEGRITY. “I volunteer” is correct THINKING.

    For those meat-eating money-philes that can’t comprehend this fact there is no hope. They are Void.

    Cannabis oil will save you should the Fukushima (DU, 2053 nuclear bomb detonations, and other melt-downs, et al) mess with you. Rick Simpson needs yOUR help.

    Keep doing what you DO. I am with you and offer any help you request.

    I’ve sailed and dived the oceans, fly aircraft and free-fall from them. I know enough about some things to be dangerous. Yet, I remain nescient (no knowledge) but NOT IGNORANT (ignore fact)

    Mod9 Phi Tori array is correct math. Can’t argue with correct math. And to hell with the solipsists. Ignorant fucktards.

    My SOVEREIGNTY acquiesces for people like you.

    Aaron

    May Peace Prevail on Earth ( and those that want otherwise BE VOID)

  9. Margolicious Avatar
    Margolicious

    There are so many places that sale press cards on the internet? Which ones are not a ripoff?

  10. Margolicious Avatar
    Margolicious

    You are right, John, I entertained a police chief from one of those poor countries and he had a Rolex watch. He must have been involved in a lot of criminal activity to get one. However, I feel the real criminals are those Wall Street bastards that created worldwide hunger and economic havoc to get richer and never go to jail. They committed treason and crimes against humanity to only get away with it.
    How do I get a press card?

    ne

  11. mrivmriv Avatar

    Whodathunkit? Bonefish on Molokai!!

  12. Tanzitch Avatar
    Tanzitch

    Lived in Vientiane, Laos, for a long while. Checkpoint day, yeah, that used to give me the shits. I came up with a reasonable defense – full face helmet, dark visor, coolie shirt, coolie gloves, coolie pants and sandals with socks. Blended in enough with the locals that it was rare to be pulled over. On a bike, goes without saying. Scoring drugs was easy in town butcha had to be careful. Ended up with a pretty reliable network. The Opium I was getting through one guy was off the charts, epic stuff.

  13. Exe29 Avatar
    Exe29

    So I guess anybody other than white is fucked. I\\\’m definitely staying away from 3rd world poverty and corruption up close.London, Japan, Austrailia, New Zealand, Alaska, Cuba, south Africa, maybe berlin germany and china are my only destinations

  14. Scotty Avatar
    Scotty

    1. He is not stating that he is a current member.
    2. They are only guidelines.
    3 AA only has credability in America. Most other countries think they are screwed up God bothers that attempt to force beliefs down people’s throats.

  15. Tanner K Avatar
    Tanner K

    Full of crap Johnny boy. You know damn well you’re already leading.

  16. David Morgan Avatar

    My personal theory is that no highly successful business has got there by entirely honest means. They have either had dirty Angel money – effectively money laundering – or some other form of corruption such as insider trading, tax avoidance etc.

    I’ve searched duedil.com for 3 individual’s UK companies I know about ‘personally’ – but a purely random selection. 1) lied about the turnover with a clever adviser and sold and now effectively hides away, 2) closed down company avoiding tax – but continued to trade 3) was involved in insider trading.

    These people are highly respected individuals by society.

    P.S. I’m NOT a highly successful business!

  17. John McAfee Avatar

    Nothing was taken out of contect. The entire meeting was recorded. Please listen.

  18. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    In that case, so much is still not adding up. It’s incredibly easy for a person to record a bunch of people and then take everything out of context– pointing and blaming. This blog would have us believe that the media would do that sort of thing mercilessly. And any one of us could take all those sound bites and construct some sort of contrasting story around it– especially in such a foreign setting where many people can’t conceive of the depth of truth and lies. It’s like asking someone to show you in arms lengths how big a pile one million dollar bills looks like.

    Ok… so I don’t think John did the crime. I don’t *want* to think it either. Sort of how I felt about Lance Armstrong for many, many years though. Compelling cases don’t often equate innocence. And I am familiar with the dysfunction in Belize, but I still feel there’s fundamental information simply not present yet. I want something real to sink my teeth into. Not a documented history of the corruption in Belize, and the questionable context of a bunch of sound bites (in admissible in court for the most part anyways).

  19. Aryeh Goretsky Avatar

    Hello,

    Perhaps the following articles will help explain Dr. McAfee’s financial situation:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/21/business/economy/21inequality.html
    http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=8462247

    Regards,

    Aryeh Goretsky

  20. steve stroope Avatar
    steve stroope

    [quote]
    Facebook and other social networking Web sites are public in nature. Though users create accounts and utilize usernames and passwords, once on the site, it is a public medium where A.A. members and non-A.A.s mingle.
    As long as individuals do not identify themselves as A.A. members, there is no conflict of interest. However, someone using their full name and/or a likeness, such as a full-face photograph, would be contrary to the spirit of the Eleventh Tradition, which states in the Long Form that, “…our [last] names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed.”
    [/quote]

    Used his full name (is a semi-celebrity) and broadcasted his membership. Seems pretty sketchy. One of the reasons the Eleventh Tradition is held in such esteem is that we can easily detect when someone is using their AA ‘cred’ for dubious gain. EG this dude sounds nutso-butso cracked out and is using his AA membership to suggest he’s not fucked up.

  21. Elvis Avatar
    Elvis

    ” Chalk it up to advancing age and diminished mental capacity.”

    You can apply that statement to your current situation.

  22. Gina Avatar
    Gina

    Ok, Eugene…I did find his statement pertain inning to this events… Which I didn’t because now I’m on the fence once again as to his stability. Sorry John, just very confused. Your motive certainly doesn’t justify the behavior and I’m still rooting for you and offering assistance, just saying this is a whole lot to swallow let alone believe.

  23. Double Barrel Avatar
    Double Barrel

    Beautiful travelers guide to corruption! My friend had to go to Kinshasa for Chevron in the 80’s, and he was instructed to bring a couple hundred cash, a couple cartons of Marlborough cigarettes, a fifth of a specific brand of bourbon, and some other very specific items, and to give each to very specific people, who wouldn’t let him through customs otherwise. I mean, it had to be exactly those things, or he was finished. Too funny.

  24. Gina Avatar
    Gina

    Are you Fricken serious??? I have read countless times.. And excuse the F out of me if I have failed to see where he states this were bogus statements as well. My question wasn’t directed to you, and if Mr. McAfee appoints you as a moderator, I’m sure he will announce it.

  25. Eugene Kaspersky Avatar

    Come on Gina, keep up! If you can’t follow the blog then I would refrain from commenting until you have read and digested all the information written here and the other links John suggests researching.

  26. John McAfee Avatar

    Ah yes, I missed that one. I apologize for my lapse. Chalk it up to advancing age and diminished mental capacity.

  27. Cayo Homesteader Avatar
    Cayo Homesteader

    I concur with your observations in your Travel Guide and with Travis Holub’s
    comments. Another category of “gift” is what I call an “expediting fee”. Someone
    in government who can operate the State machinery can move paperwork along for you because they have access to the bureaucrat whose desk it is languishing on. The additional cost can be regarded as a kind of expense required to facilitate the operation of the government itself. It is but an example of how in Belize we have a do-it-yourself govt that you have to keep personal records for (such as land
    titles).

    However, it is not a libertarian govt as such; you must still operate it by various rules even though you must see to it that the functions of govt are executed – or have someone carry them out for you. One instance of this is immigration. You can get permanent residency faster by having an expediter see to it that it moves along and meets approval.

  28. Kevin Obrien Avatar
    Kevin Obrien

    Having spent a few nights at the raddison wandering around Belize city and San Pedro I would attest to john’s accounts.
    Be safe.

  29. Scott Avatar
    Scott

    Very engaging article but I was a little confused about wether or not this approach works with military checkpoints. A couple of years ago I cycled from California to Guatemala via Mexico and was stopped a number of times, but I recall most checkpoints being military checkpoints.

  30. Gerry Avatar
    Gerry

    I just do not understand who do you refer to when you say gringo? Is it supposed to be Mexicans? Strange thing. We call YOU Americans Gringos. That would be like us now calling americans Spics or something, since they call us that? Or did I miss something?

  31. Gina Avatar
    Gina

    Did I miss something? I did not read anything that states, the above episodes were pranks? I in fact thought they were real events? The GSU one being a very scary and crazy one to say the least. I listened to thevrecording and it literally gave me chillls, the fear in your voice. Please direct me to where you state they were pranks. Thank you John.

  32. Moschops Avatar
    Moschops

    I’m not convinced that Russia should be on your list of places where the local police won’t shake you down.

  33. Gringo Avatar
    Gringo

    McAfee shares will increase if the company handles it correctly. There is no such thing as “Bad Press”.

  34. Gringo Avatar
    Gringo

    He is not blogging for AA, an AA website, or speaking on behalf an AA group. If I am not allowed to tell someone in text that I am in AA then that is sure new to me and the link you posted does not seem to specify that in any way. Anonymity in regard to myself is my own choice.

    And all of the suggestions about traveling in Mexico/Central America are dead on. The added color about trafficking drugs and slaves may be over the top to get the point across for some people, but the reality is you shouldn’t be driving your car anywhere if you don’t have money in your pocket. And a year of paying small bribes to the police in these types of situation is much less hassle and cost than rolling one stop sign in the states. Good to have a second wallet in your glove compartment with lots of small paper bills and a laminated copy of your license or any other necessary identification. Never hand over originals.

  35. Firstloner Avatar
    Firstloner

    What does this say about john mcafee? That fraud, deception, and misdirection are necessary for survival; that he practices same with iImpunity. So should we then believe his assertion that he did not
    murder his neighbor? I don’t.

  36. Sharleen Avatar
    Sharleen

    some great information here — I would like to point out that it is always good to travel with small dollar denominations, in any currency. Keep your “other” money hidden, brassieres are a great place, or within your sock or even taped on you stomach when traveling Third World countries, be it in the Caribben or Central America. If you are in a vehicle, keep ALL documentation in an easy to find, like immediately, place, as well as your passport and visa. Don’t have any drugs in your vehicle, and if you do, have them in a secured, on person location.
    Traveling late at night is a no no….. I used to do it thirty years ago, it was easy to drive eight hours from Point A to Point B at midnight. In these times, it is too dangerous to do. Also, even if traveling in the day time hours, a popular “got you” thing is for nails to be put up across the road, you get an immediate flat tire, and “here comes to the rescue” certain people. And of course, for a fee, they will immediately come to your rescue with your flat tire (or flat multiple tires).
    Also a popular thing is for certain people to set up “roadblocks” with lumber and rubber tires, and to start to burn them, then when you have to stop, you get robbed.
    I go where many fear to tread, I am not at all scared to be the only white woman for many many miles, I have been a very lucky lady for many years. I realize this…. Actually the scariest thing I have had happen to me was way up in the John Crow mountains, and having to stay in a house where there was a hand-sized spider up in the corner, and many years ago being with Bob Marley and the Wailers in Trenchtown in the middle of the night with guns being shot just outside of the door. Not to mention the horrid smell outside, of urine and feces, with the fried chicken smell inside and the smell of great Italian leather shoes they brought home for all of their friends.
    I have bought some great presents for the Immigration officials, where I go I have to leave each and every six months, due to the laws of the country. Just to stay for six months without hassle, I do buy presents. It is just easier to get a direct six month visa that way, instead of having to renew every two months or so.
    Also, one time I didn’t leave after six months, I just didn’t feel like leaving. So immigrations came looking for me, I saw them 1/2 way up the 7 miles outside of town where I lived. I ducked into a long abandoned one room tilted shack as a Caribbean massive rain down pour came. That sucked.
    I moved eight hours away into the Blue Mountains shortly thereafter. Living in a paradise, waking up to view the turquoise waters on a daily basis, is truly blessed.
    Unfortunately, that great blessing can come with a really heavy price. Check out the links:
    http://people.tribe.net/caroleeena/blog/5e7ca919-8086-4674-bd17-62980ab5a7f9

    http://news.infoshop.org/article.php?story=04/02/01/6870101

    http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20100206/lead/lead6.html

    https://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/83229_Two-charged-with-woman-s-murder

  37. Mark_13 Avatar
    Mark_13

    I knew that wasn’t right as I wrote it, but for some reason “Don” stuck in my brain. The reason I think, is that “Don” is a term of respect in Spanish-speaking countries (e.g. Belize), e.g. “Don Carlo” etc.
    Wikipedia: [Don:] “originally a title reserved for royalty, select nobles, and church hierarchs, it is now often used as a mark of esteem for a person of personal, social or official distinction… Historically, the term was used to address members of the nobility, e.g. hidalgos and fidalgos…The treatment gradually came to be reserved for persons of the blood royal”

  38. Karen Mathison Avatar
    Karen Mathison

    Amen! You are in Our Prayers! Keep Fighting The Fight John, It Just Is!

  39. SL Avatar
    SL

    Captain Morgan not Don Morgan.

    Since you obviously are confused on such a simple aspect of the story, it stands to reason you did not read the article well enough.

    Please try to keep up. I always hated it in school when the teacher had to go back and explain basic concepts to the students in the class who wither are incapable of getting it or too lazy to get it.

  40. John McAfee Avatar

    I have addressed all of this before. We are getting an overwhelming volume of posts, many of them many paragraphs long, such as yours. I cannot afford the time of endlessly repea tmyself. If the prior answers to similar questions are not sufficient for you, then you will simply have to remain dissatisfied.

  41. Jeff Avatar
    Jeff

    So, you really think that someone who is in the business of smuggling sex slaves is going to be perusing this blog for advice? I think it’s far more likely that it was a dark and slightly humorous method of hinting to the general public about how things work in that area.

  42. Mark_13 Avatar
    Mark_13

    Something else I forgot to say — I understand perfectly well that the police, governments etc lie as a matter of course if it serves their interests. Police in the U.S. openly admit that they repeatedly lie in interrogations because its legal for them to do so. So I understand that if you’re in a propaganda war with Belizean authorities, because they’re pissed off at you, we certainly can’t rule out them lying and so you think you have to fight fire with fire. Makes my own personal slavery to the truth seem kind of pathetic I guess.

  43. Floridagirl Avatar
    Floridagirl

    Wow. By far, the best first hand encounter of this life that I’ve ever read. I went from ‘that rich nut in Belize killed his neighbor & is on the lam’ two weeks ago, to now, I’m with you. I get it. I’m on board for the ride with you…..thank you for this site. If I can help in any way, I will. I don’t think you can just simply go back to fishing, boating, etc. ‘business as usual’ on your beloved island, unless there is a seismic shift in the country’s trajectory. But, if anyone can effect that kind of change, it would be you. You are truly the most interesting man in the world – stay thirsty, my friend. 😉

  44. Mark_13 Avatar
    Mark_13

    McAfee: “In 1983 I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and gave up alcohol and drugs entirely. My acceptions are coffee, which some classify as a drug, and, occassionally, cigarettes. Not proud of the cigarettes, I know thay are bad.”

    I don’t know if this thread is the proper one to bring up your detailed disavowals of drug use in Belize, but then I don’t know if the opportunity will come up again, as you seemed to have moved on to unrelated areas, This detailed travel advisory on the 3rd world is admittedly fascinating, useful, and extremely informative. But I think its serving to distance the discussion from things you don’t want to talk about, like the accounts from people like Josh at Wired, of bizarre incidents which clearly seemed to indicate you were on something. I don’t think those incidents necessarily define you, but I personally am disturbed that your explanation of them just isn’t adding up. I know that I personally would not concoct a detailed lie to cover up something I didn’t want to talk about. I might be vague and dismissive and say, “Yeah I did drugs that time, it was a slip up, and I wasn’t used to what I took, so I had a paranoid break while on it — doesn’t mean there’s not disturbing things going on in Belize”

    But anyway, Josh at Wired provides that 25 minute long recording of you calling him on the phone around 3 A.M, in which you describe sitting on a porch at the Don Morgan’s resort, motionless for seven hours or so, because you are convinced that once you move, the GSU which is surrounding you in the dark will shoot you for trying to escape. If this was an act by you to put something over on Josh (as you claim it to be) , it was extremely convincing. But the question is, why would you put on an act so convincing that an average observer would certainly conclude that you were actually on drugs. It was such a good act that I or anyone would be convinced you were on them. And furthermore, this kind of paranoid break, is evidently typical of “bath salts”. And incidentally, I wouldn’t have necessarily ruled out there being an actual GSU operation against you that night, except that you claim it was a big practical joke by you on Josh. And if it was bath salts, people evidently can have full-fledged visual hallucinations while on them.

    The other thing I’m unclear about, is that there was another incident in which your realtor Chris, woke up one morning to find you asleep on his balcony, and as he asserts, lying in a pool of your own urine. Now, I can see him being mistaken about that point, in that maybe you had been splashing around on the beach or whatever. But you claim this to be a big act by you as well, for some reason to make Chris thing you were on drugs too. And once again, why would you want to give any kind of fodder for someone to reasonably claim you were on drugs — I don’t get it. And also, he says he found a bag of gray powder. Now if he’s making that up, i.e. he is a bonafide enemy of yours, why would you want to give such a person grounds to reasonably say you were on drugs when you weren’t

    If this incident on the balcony occurred on the same night as the Don Morgan’s incident (which I’m unclear about) then I would chalk it up to you actually taking something that one night, perhaps even being given something without your knowledge, and wigging out. And in that case you know it was a one time deal, which in your mind people won’t understand, and so you are just denying it outright. But if the Don Morgan’s episode, and the episode on Chris’s balcony are two completely different incidents, occurring at different times, then that would seem to indicate you have repeatedly taken this stuff, basically the same stuff you had a 1000 post conversation about on bluelight which you also claim was a big practical joke.

    Regarding bluelight, I was convinced, based on your explanation, that it was a big joke by you, undertaken on a bet. (Don’t know now though). But I could see someone on that forum mad enough to tip off the Belizean authorities leading to that raid on your compound ostensibly for meth. And who knows, maybe even someone slipped you something like bath salts to get back at you. If I was going to lie, I think that’s what I would say — someone slipped me something. Anyway, still want to think the best about you if possible. You may not post all this — that’s OK.

  45. Annette Avatar
    Annette

    Wouldn’t count on it. They’ve just been whipped (deleted) into submission. Wouldn’t do to anger the Great White Hope. Perhaps you haven’t picked up on the occasional snide, satirical remark. Otherwise the blog would slide deeper into total simpering sychophancy.

  46. Connie Avatar
    Connie

    We don’t know that there hasn’t been any tips that have come forward. Hasn’t been talked about or asked.

  47. Jack Avatar
    Jack

    John, you are sharing great streetwise wisdom for those who live a bit on the edge. But there are some observations and thoughts for you:
    – Why on Earth you would need to live in Belize and in Central America when you could and I hope still can to live in New Zealand, Northern Cyprus, Russia, Switzerland, other parts of this great planet where you don’t need to go thru this crap with local police and other folklore. You can afford to live with free mind, clean yourself from this streetwisdom. You still can have plenty of living on the edge things and enjoy your sunshine, fishing, swimming, boating, girls.
    – Hopefully there is still a place in your heart and mind to invest in new ventures, and I mean, high-tech, technology, biotechnology and not in grass drug or synthetic drugs production. We actually want to remember you as the antivirus inventor and high-tech investor not the crazy dog owner and life waster
    – McAfee company will experience the decrease of sales for the next couple of quarters, if that matters at all.
    Hope the manhunt ends safely and hope you will find a new nice place.
    Key West is still there and still same. New Zealand is cool too.
    Hope to hear from you soon with a continuation of your great stories.
    Jack

  48. Mike Avatar
    Mike

    If he’s against the sex trade, why is he giving human smugglers free advice?

  49. Connie Avatar
    Connie

    I wish I’d read this about a month ago when I was in Belize. We went through several checkpoints. Didn’t have a clue what they were looking for or doing. Thankfully we were on the Southern Highway and in Dangriga when we were checked on not on a back road.

    Btw, I am also a friend of Bill W..

  50. OriginalWoman Avatar
    OriginalWoman

    …..especiallly your last sentence…..

  51. ugneugne Avatar
    ugneugne

    John McAfee is my master of life.
    greets from italy

  52. Dennis Avatar
    Dennis

    Very good point Michelle! When I first read about this blog in the news, it got me interested and rooting for John. I enjoyed reading this piece, especially as some one who grew up in a corrupt country. Reading the “tips” for sex slave trafficers made me sick though…

  53. Oh Hey It's That Guy Again... Avatar

    I’ve been watching this blog since its creation…some of the anger has abated, as John answers more questions. Remember that guy who threatened to dox the site? It looks like we all support him now. John, has anybody been released yet? And you may want to post the e-mails again (the contact emails for the people responsible for keeping your friends locked up), as they may have been buried in the comments. Maybe, we could apply some of the tactics listed above in e-mail negotiations with those people.

  54. getrealeh Avatar
    getrealeh

    I am surprised the $25,000 reward has not yielded results by now. I would expect that the tips would be flowing in by now.

  55. Brian D Avatar
    Brian D

    This whole expose is very clever.Clearly john knows that if caught all of this will have to be used as evidence and in turn will also need investigating.
    Hes got all the bases covered, location : unknown, could be in belize chances are slim.. Mentally stable : debateable, great if caught in another country, look at previous cases where that has helped with crimes, lulzsec etc..
    If found not alive, hes managed to leave a true legacy/memoir for all to absorb…
    Social engineer, disinformation, an old school hacker.. Hat is tipped to you sir.

  56. Mike Diamonds Avatar
    Mike Diamonds

    Real estate and bonds. It happened to people with much more financial acumen than Mr McAfee, although its doubtful those figures are correct – sure John has many a stash worldwide.

  57. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    In Africa they are not referred to as bribes. They are “spot fines”, and they are ubiquitous. They sure beat a jail cell.

  58. John McAfee Avatar

    I don’t want to lead anything. I want to get back to fishing, swimming and enjoying my life.

  59. playing it safe Avatar
    playing it safe

    I don’t think you have been paying attention to Who John McAfee really is. This guy is a magician, sleight of hand, illusion creating master. You think he lost 96 million. Why? Because he said so? Recheck your premises and watch the master at work until you get it.

  60. jackie O Avatar
    jackie O

    The problem I am seeing here is that the whole system is screwed up from top to bottom. The politicians use the legal system and all of the government infrastructure as their own private fiefdom. They are essentially able to rip off as much money and land as they want and so a lot of smaller players see that and try to emulate them. What Belize (and most countries on earth) needs is a much more limited scope for its government with a lot less opportunity for graft and corruption. Maybe Belize needs a revolution and John can be the leader of it.

  61. Don Avatar
    Don

    This is a little off topic. I can’t seem to find out how you lost 96 million dollars. Were you playing options or selling short? All that I could find was something about Lehman Brothers. Weren’t they bailed out? Now that is corruption!

  62. vivalasvegas Avatar
    vivalasvegas

    I don’t think that John is a Nazi nor should he be compared with them even distantly. Argentina is even worse off than Belize is right now and they have dogs trained to sniff for the ink used in US 100 dollar bills at all border crossings, so that their own people cannot carry that valuable money out of the country. John needs to stay right where he is and fight these crooked sob’s on their own turf. Belize deserves better.

  63. StuffMongerFan Avatar
    StuffMongerFan

    You have to practice your reading skills. His opinion on the flesh trade is made clear in the piece.

  64. Bettywite Avatar
    Bettywite

    I have read through all of this blog and I don’t really know what to believe but here’s what I do know: I travel to Africa frequently doing nonprofit work and fully understand about “documentation”. At first, I was furious about it. Now, I’m learning that this is how things work as part of a system in developing countries. The checkpoints find you staring into the mirrored sunglasses with a very large firearm swaying around just behind a very stern face. Makes you feel guilty/very scared even when you aren’t smuggling drugs or sex slaves. I find myself believing you about all the corruption. I have felt it myself, in other places, being detained simply because I am a white female from the US that could possibly have money.

    The sex slave thing – I am thinking that was thrown in there to garner a laugh – though it is very serious and very sad. I’m sure lots of folks are going to be upset about that one and it may have cost you some loyal readers.

    You are a gifted, entertaining writer and obviously very intelligent. You need to do something here. What are you going to do? You can’t keep running.

  65. jimmy b Avatar
    jimmy b

    You have obviously never lived in the third world. Sex slavery exists but many women choose to sell their bodies to men because getting married and having your husband stick you with babies every year until you go through menopause or die first and having to share your husband with a half dozen mistresses and eat the crumbs, well, that is what most women go through who take that route. The sex slaves he was comically (sense of humor required) referring to was just a joke. First of all, Taiwan has a very high standard of living and not much of a problem with sex slavery, and secondly, if they were being transported out in the open and in the back of a pickup truck, they were of the first category that I mentioned: women who find it a better deal to do that than get married and take twenty or thirty years of suffering. John may have a sick sense of humor but that does not make him a murderer and only someone with no sense of humor or of judgement would make that statement.

  66. getrealeh Avatar
    getrealeh

    Why aren’t the Belizean people picketing the jail and demonstrating for the release of the Ambergrise 3? Belize is a small country and most of its citizens are related. That should not be hard to organize. It would also give the journalists something to cover so they don’t lose interest.

    I also think that corruption is in the eye of the beholder in Belize and most 3rd world countries. Everyone has a scam, but they can be very critical of other people’s scams. A tourist taxi owner in in Corossal (VIP Transfer Services) Mr Menzies, and his employee Alex conspired with the Mexican Customs officers at the Chetumel/Belize border crossing to charge us a non existent fee when we left Mexico and entered Belize. Alex escorted us to the customs wicket under protest to pay our “fee” despite the fact that we knew it was a scam. We got tired of arguing and decided to consider it a donation to the Mexican Customs officers xmas fund. After all what is 20.00 to a rich gringo in a third word country. Normally, we tip very well. However, Alex was a player and we knew it. When we arrived at our destination he quoted a price far higher than we had been given by Menzies via e-mail. We had the e-mail and paid him the agreed to fee in the e-mail. No tip. We told him we were taking the money he fleeced us for at the customs office off his tip. We also told him he was scum, we would be contacting his employer and the Ministry of Tourism, and we would be using a different transportation service for the duration. He was not amused. He was almost crying when he left. He later showed up in the restaurant where we were having dinner with his boss Mr Menzies. Menzies tried to tell us it was not a scam but that we would have to pay way more when we left if we had not paid the bribe upon entry. We told him he was lying and we were done with him. Ultimately, he admitted the bribe was not kosher but that it is “how business is done” in Corossal. However, they did try to discredit the taxi driver we were now using as a “crackhead”. We told him we were going to make sure potential customers knew how he did business. He was very angry when he left and I hope Alex and Mr Menzies did not retaliate against the lovely creole taxi driver, Mr Garcia, we utilized over the next week. Recently, I read that Mr Menzies spearheaded a meeting protesting against crime in Corossal. Corruption it seems is in the eye of the beholder. What is good for the Goose in Belize is not necessarily good for the Gander.

    We do not speak Spanish which is a huge handicap in Central America. Hpwever, our new taxi driver to took us from Corossal to Chetumel was a local and fluent in English and Spanish. We told him about our VIP Transfer Services Experience and hired him because he was the husband of the manager of a hotel we like in Corossal. When we exited Belize he took on the Mexican customs officials and an animated discussion complete with dramatic gestures ensued. He won and we did not have to pay the bribe again. We tipped him a huge amount when he dropped us off at our destination. We have also recommended him on every tourist website on the net. He tells us business is booming as a result. I think the most constructive way to combat corruption is to refuse to pay bribes and to reward honesty.

  67. OriginalWoman Avatar
    OriginalWoman

    I couldn’t’ agree with you more.

  68. Michelle Avatar

    John, you’ve got me wondering. You’ve spent some text offering advise on how to bribe corrupt police officers with feeling up a Taiwanese sex slave’s breast. Have you had these highly abused young women in your car(s) en route? You’ve had first-hand experience exploiting human life in that fashion? Contraband is one thing, human lives are another. What sort of value do you place on these women? It seems to me that someone capable of being accomplice to such things would have no problem pulling the trigger on someone else also. I’ve got to admit, I wish I thought your intentions here were noble. But as someone else already mentioned, this blog just popped up the moment you were in the heat. Help me figure this out John… I’m not buying it yet.

  69. Oh Hey It's That Guy Again... Avatar
    Oh Hey It’s That Guy Again…

    This whole blog plus twitter are starting to feel like some sort of action/adventure novel! Maybe an action movie… why can’t my life be this exciting? Seriously though, I understand the gravity of your situation. Are your friends still imprisoned?

  70. McAfee4President Avatar
    McAfee4President

    Great read John, thanks!
    Loved this part at the end.. So very true..
    “The fact that SWAT teams exist and every policeman carries a gun and is trained in violent tactics, should alert us to the fact that practicing peace is not the means of choice for maintaining peace.”

  71. James Galt Avatar
    James Galt

    Yes, it is the fat whales at the top that screw up the whole system. That appears to be why Belize is so indebted internationally. The big crooks at the top just steal the money outright. They don’t even facilitate anything for it. On the contrary, they impede the entire country from progressing. Looks like Belize is in a death spiral unless John can pull off a coup.

  72. Living in Belize Avatar
    Living in Belize

    John, thank you so much! I was so dumb not to bribe anybody the last 12 years in Belize. With your excellent advice I can now run a profitable drug dealing operation and soon I will be as rich as you are.

  73. GG Avatar
    GG

    I suggest you review the 11th tradition guidelines and how they apply to blogging: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/en_pdfs/mg-18_internet.pdf

  74. halleberryorhallelujah Avatar
    halleberryorhallelujah

    Good stuff, haha.

  75. Travis Holub Avatar
    Travis Holub

    I feel like I am listening to myself when I read your descriptions. After living in Belize and other developing places all of my life, your words ring very true in my assessment. Cops are generally decent people who have been presented with a growth opportunity if they use it correctly. Almost all small time cops in Belize are on the take and this is pretty normal. One finds ways to deal with them and they are even quite friendly about negotiation. A person can say, “Damn, I just spent almost all my money at a wild party! Man those girls did me in!” and then offer less. They will be happy to take less after hearing that. But if you get uppity and self-righteous, they will put you in your place.
    A few years ago, Belize got a speed radar. That was a great joke for them since everyone with more than 4 cylinders in their vehicle speeds in Belize. I recall them setting one up in a school zone to increase the fun for them. I was one of the first people ever to get pulled over for “speeding” in Belize at the time and the officers were happy to inform me about all of the drastic fines and all of the terrible amount of hours that I would have to spend at court and how bad it would all be. But, they said, I could just pay less of a “fine” on the spot and everything would be forgiven. Thus begun the negotiations. I think they went well and the officers even stopped traffic to let me back into the lane and waved at me while smiling profusely as I drove off. I probably overpaid them that day but the whole speeding in a school zone thing was a good one and so I thought they deserved some credit for that one.
    Beyond police officers, the Customs Inspectors are even more entrepreneurial. They are given control over the borders of a country and they can put a price on just about anything coming into a country. The position is a coveted one in Belize and guys who get it are like instant celebrities. Girls flock to them and they build several houses in different parts of the town they are in to house all of their mistresses. They have huge parties with confiscated goods like liquor and cigars. They are quite creative and they invent ways to get even more profits out of their posts.
    One guy who I had been dealing with on the border between Guatemala and Belize was getting a bit greedy I thought, and I told him so. At which point he told me that I should just put cocaine in with whatever other stuff I was bringing back and that he would pass me straight through. That way I would make more money from whatever it was that I was bringing in and I could give more to him. And he was the head of the Custom’s Department at that particular place!
    So, yes, much of what John says rings true and the most important thing to take away from it all is this: Belizeans as well as foreigners who understand the culture, do not dislike small or even medium guys getting things for facilitating commerce or fluidity of transportation or whatever. Most people dislike the big guys taking advantage of the whole system and getting filthy rich at the top. These are the guys who are trying to shake John down and these are the guys who John is fighting against. I would be willing to bet that a lot of average Belizeans are rooting for him on that score.

  76. StuffMongerFan Avatar
    StuffMongerFan

    “If you are not carrying sufficient cash, then you are unprepared, and shouldn’t be doing shady deals in Central America.”

    Best quote I’ve read in a long time.

    Who needs novels when you have Mcafee’s blog?

  77. Mike Diamonds Avatar
    Mike Diamonds

    Excellent piece. Aside from current events, have you had any documentation transfers go seriously wrong?

  78. Nic Avatar
    Nic

    The Travel Guide posted November 24, is without a doubt, a well conceived stratagem based on insightful observations re low level corruption. A must read for any traveler.

  79. Fred Avatar
    Fred

    100% true and I speak from experience. 13 years practicing those skills…You need to inject “oil” often so everything runs smoothly.