John McAfee » McAfeezine

DCentral1 App Now available for download

John McAfee — Thu, 03 Apr 2014 22:59:17 +0000

Dcentral is Now available for download at Future Tense Central and Google play

നധ McAFEE WEEKLY………

Who is Web — Wed, 29 Jan 2014 03:14:23 +0000

OH BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE……

I was quite happy to see JM’s number on the caller ID……. it’s been a while since we last spoke, and I was anxious to see how the Pirates had treated him. Thankfully, they didn’t touch so much as a hair on his head (as you will see), and he was lucky to come out unscathed. His captors allowed him to take this souvenir photo before handing him off to negotiators. “The only positive part of the whole adventure was being able to stay outside for more than 5 minutes at a time” he said.

Hahahaha…. he is of course, referring to the nasty inhumane (shoot me, I hate to be cold) winter weather conditions in one of my favorite cities; Montreal. I asked how he and Janice were fairing in such rigid cold. “Well, we’ve gotten used to layering ~ it’s a necessary part of life here”. ’It is’, I agreed. Did that mean they had been spending all their time indoors? “Oh no, I’ve been working hard to fit into the Montreal art community, so far with no success”.

When I started to laugh, he said “I’m serious. Almost daily, I commute from my home to the city, and hit another part of the art scene. While I have not yet succeeded, I will keep trying to fit in”. ’Try something different’ I said laughing. “Absolutely” he replied. ’So, the arts and the Documentary…..anything else?’ I wondered. “Other than that, we’ve just been spending a lot of time by the fire ….it’s COLD outside”

LMFAO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks John.

For The First Time Hackers Have Used A Refrigerator To Attack Businesses

John McAfee — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 06:59:52 +0000

Security researchers at Proof point have uncovered the very first wide-scale hack that involved television sets and at least one refrigerator. Yes, a fridge. This is being hailed as the first home appliance “botnet” and the first cyber attack from the Internet of Things. A botnet is a series of computers that seem to be ordinary computers functioning in people’s homes and businesses, but are really secretly controlled by hackers. The Internet of Things, is a new term in the tech industry that refers to a concept where every device in your house gets its own computer chip, software, and connection to the Internet: your fridge, thermostat, smart water meter, door locks, etc. READ FULL ARTICLE FROM WWW.BUSINESSINSIDER.COM

As predicted by John McAfee on November 8 2013 - India Ground Zero Summit

Arrrrrrrrrr Mateys, there be Trouble on the High Seas…..

Who is Web — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 20:40:19 +0000

**URGENT**

I just received a ransom note from the North Somalian Pirate League. They have John. He’s being held captive in an undisclosed location, and will be released unharmed…….. provided he complies. They have a list of demands that he will be forced (at gun point) to read on air tomorrow. As long as he engages the listeners and pronounces all the words correctly, they have assured me he will be set free. I have contacted the appropriate Authorities, who have urged me to maintain an open line of communication and agree with everything they say or want. I will keep you updated.

Tune in tomorrow

And please join me in praying for his safe return, I’ve heard this is a pretty rough bunch.

WEB ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

©WEB~2014 ☮

നധ John McAfee’s Seven Tips ~ Level the Ego…….

Who is Web — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 00:30:47 +0000

My Fifth Recommendation: LEVEL THE EGO – MAKE YOURSELF LOOK FOOLISH AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

Since many of our lives appear empty we try to fill them with our own ego. It is an awkward way to live. We consider ourselves to be huge and the universe and everything else to be tiny in comparison. A Casual observer could see that this is incorrect. The ego is difficult to shrink. I have found that one sure way of doing it is to make ourselves appear foolish or insignificant on as many occasions as we can. My ego has always been out of control and, for me, only extreme measures had any noticeable effect. I’ll tell you about my own efforts to contain my ego and perhaps these examples will give rise to more appropriate examples for yourselves.

Dressed as a well weathered derelict, I would panhandle on a busy street. I have done this in nearly every large city in the States. It is one of the most illuminating activities a person can engage in. If you do this seriously, you will begin to look at your fellow man with an entirely different eye. I have discovered that if you are of no importance whatsoever to another human being, then that human being tends to open his or her true self up more readily. People who are, in the normal course of business, polite, kind and gracious, sometimes turn rude and petty when they are speaking to a person who is not really a person to them. Other people who are generally attentive to their neighbors and even random strangers, will not look at you or even acknowledge your existence when you speak to them if you are below a certain status. Homelessness appears to be at the very bottom of this unwritten caste system.

Panhandling never failed to amuse and educate me. My most memorable time was in Ventura California in the late Fall of 2004. I went into a Goodwill store and purchased an old ragged hat and an old worn overcoat. I waited until 6 o’clock in the evening and set up shop in the alcove of closed jewelry store on the main street downtown. I made a cardboard sign on which I wrote “broke and stupid” and held it in front of me while I sat cross-legged on the ground. I placed a small box in front of me in which I tossed a few crumpled dollar bills and some random change. I placed 5 new 100 dollar bills in front of the box, side by side.

My first customers were four Hispanic gang members who nearly passed me by. One of them noticed the hundreds and made as if to come over and scoop them up. He was grabbed by the arm by the tallest member, who whispered something in his ear, at which they all turned and went on their way. I can only assume that the tall one thought I was a cop and the whole scene was a set up.

I plaintively asked each and every passerby for spare change, 99% of whom ignored me as if I did not exist.

After 5 or ten minutes, two elderly ladies, looking much like regular churchgoers, dropped a dollar in my box and admonished me not to spend it on drink. I promised I would not.

A few minutes and a dozen or more people later (to whom I was invisible), a dark blue, brand new Porsche parked about four spaces up the street from me and out stepped a man and a woman, dressed to the hilt and wearing conspicuous, expensive looking jewelry. As they approached I asked “can you spare a dollar?” To which the man immediately replied, indicating he had nothing to spare. I quickly grabbed one of the hundreds and held it out to him saying “I’m so very sorry for you. Here then, take this.” He looked dumbfounded and stopped in his tracks, but the woman, without hesitation, took the hundred and put it in her purse. (That was a first for me, by the way).

The man wanted to know what was going on. I explained that since he had no money, and I did, it was only right that I should share my good fortune with his misfortune. He was unable to help me, so he claimed, but I was able to help him, so I did. The conversation quickly settled on the fact that they gave generously to the poor through contributions to United Way. I asked why it was easy to give large sums through an intermediary but when an apparently small, but real need spoke up from the street, they were able to decline it.

The talk went on in from there in great depth. At some point the woman began to cry. Eventually, the woman asked if they could have a second chance. I said “of course”. She took her husband by the arm and walked back toward their car. She turned and they again walked towards me. ”Can you spare a dollar?” I plaintively asked. The woman reached in her purse, gave me back my hundred, plus a dollar, and they walked on by.

Two of my current readers were observers of this event as it happened. I hope I remembered it correctly. Please correct me if I misrepresented anything.

You don’t have to panhandle, of course, in order to shrink down the ego. I’ve done hundreds of similarly belittling things that have worked equally as well. Some of my favorites include:

~Taking a new date to a very fancy restaurant wearing absurdly out of fashion attire, then purposely mispronouncing everything on the menu, and acting awkward and out of place regarding the use of utensils and other unfamiliar objects, such as butter knives, tea strainers, etc.

~Renting an electric wheelchair from a medical supply house and spending the day pretending to be paraplegia in some public place. There is nothing that brings the ego down quicker than thousands of pairs of eyes staring at you in pity throughout the day.

~Attending at least 10 AA meetings. Get genuinely into the spirit of things. Stand up in front of dozens of people and fearlessly and completely tell them who you really are. It’s OK. It’s safe.

~Doing some little foolishness every day. Sing your favorite song standing in the checkout line at Safeway or some similar place (as Janice can tell you, I do this multiple times a day). Or dance a jig while walking down the street. Or wear a Clown Wig for no apparent purpose.

As Shakespeare (or possibly Baby Ruth) so beautifully said: ”To become wise, we must first become a fool”.

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Thanks to SL for making the fun video.

Only two more recommendations to go…. Be sure to check back tomorrow.

©WEB~2014 ☮

നധ John McAfee’s Seven Tips ~ Break Boundaries

Who is Web — Mon, 06 Jan 2014 22:57:56 +0000

My fourth recommendation: BREAK BOUNDARIES – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT EVERY DAY.

It is easy to get stuck in a rut in our current society. We wake up each morning and do the same thing we did the morning before. We wake -up. We get breakfast. We go to work. We fight traffic. We go to lunch. We spend the day tolerating the office . We wait for the end of the day and go home in in the reverse traffic that we came to work in. We eat dinner. We play with the family. We go to bed. We create lives of safe predictability. We even create predictability for the natural functions of our bodies. Exercise, which in more fundamental societies is taken care of, without concern, by running after food, running from predators, building shelters, wrestling enemies etc, is, in our society, regulated by science, and allotted to a given hour of our day.

If you find deep meaning in this overwhelming predictability, then first, I am in awe of your fortunate condition, and second, you need read no further. If however, you perceive some gaping hole in your existence, like an emptiness that cannot be filled by anything around or in you, then perhaps I can advise you and give you hope in this New Year.

Trying something truly new involves great risk. The greater the risk, the greater the potential rewards. I will give you a few suggestions from my own experience that can perhaps guide you in your quest for new experiences. I recommend them highly.

You may think that I am making up, or exaggerating the following examples, but, God’s truth, I lived through them all. Here we go:

1. Ask your wife to sleep on the living room sofa after you bring home a strange woman that you met in a bar. Make sure that you have never before given your wife any indications that you’re anything but a model husband, who would never dream of straying. Although I Have Never Experienced it, bringing home a gay man that you had found in a gay bar might prove to be equally as enlightening. You women in the audience could achieve the same effect by bringing home a Chippendale dancer, and asking your husband to sleep in the garage.

2. Go into work early and sit in your boss’s office. When your boss arrives, tell him firmly that he’s fired. Do not back off. If he refuses to leave, call security.

3. Go naked to church with a sign around your neck that reads “only the poor shall enter heaven”. I have only tried this in a fundamental Baptist environment. I would be interested in hearing your experiences with different faiths.

4. Rent a loudspeaker truck or car and drive through suburban neighborhoods saying over and over into the microphone: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”, with the volume set to full blast.

5. Buy airtime on your local AM rock radio station and, while speaking live, confess every dark secret of your life.

6. Spend a day listening carefully to every sound your dog makes. Imagine it is a two year old child trying to quote Shakespeare, but unable to form the syllables properly. Your dog really is trying to speak to you. Get back to me on this one.

You can easily come up with your own experiments. I promise you, if they involve great risk, you will receive great rewards.

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©WEB~2014 ☮

നധ John McAfee’s Seven Tips ~ Take an active role

Who is Web — Mon, 06 Jan 2014 21:54:13 +0000

My third recommendation: TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE IN IMPROVING THE ECONOMY OF OUR COUNTRY

A healthy economy equates to a healthy life for all of us. It is extremely important to become politically active and take an interest in the activities of our Government-both at the local level and at the national level. By far the most important issues in politics revolve around the financial strength of our Government. I would recommend that each and everyone of you take up some issue that is dear to you, that would have a positive impact on the future financial health of the United States.

I have personally I started my own initiative. I discovered that over 17 billion dollars per year is spent on controlling the problem of drunk drivers in this country. The cost of prosecuting, jailing and housing, then afterwards monitoring drunk drivers is an extraordinarily expensive task. If there was some other approach that we could take that cost even half as much, our economy would be much improved.

So I decided on a Vision Quest. Native Americans have used the Vision Quest to look deep into issues of importance, and find solutions which could only be discovered through an intense connection of the individual with the world around them. Since I had no access to a Sweat Lodge, Peyote Buttons or a Native American Shaman, I had to make do with what I have. I locked myself in the bathroom and began to snort bath salts.

I continued to do this until the toilet began to speak to me. It was a profound experience. As the room spun wildly like the center of a tornado, I clung desperately to the rim of the toilet bowl and listened to profound words that filled me with an exquisite sense of awe. When I was finally returned to the solid ground of earth, yet still in a trance, I went straight to my iPad and wrote down following cryptic text:

“Rescind all laws against drunk driving. Equip all cars with flashing pink roof lights. Alcohol breath detector in steering wheel activates flashing light”

When I came to my full senses and read what I had written I felt like some huge joke had been played on me by the universe. It sounded like nonsense, but as the words settled into my mind, the subtle genius of them began to create images in my mind:

The image of a child playing in the street who glimpses a flashing pink light in the distance, and runs to safety.

The image of a busy highway, as cars flee to the safety of the road’s shoulder to give way to a vehicle with a flashing pink light coming the wrong way and veering wildly left and right.

The image of signs around the country, at the entrance to gated communities, in the driveways of private homes, in church parking lots, at courthouses and entrances to public institutions everywhere, all saying ” No Pink Lights”.

The image of young Johnny, being disciplined for nearly getting hit by a drunk driver, with the phrase “Pay Attention” repeated over and over.

These and other images shocked me into a complete understanding. I immediately formed the “Rational Reformation Of Drunk Driving Laws Movement”.

If you truly want to make a difference, but are too busy to find a cause and start your own movement, then I strongly recommend that you send a large donation to my cause.

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©WEB~2014 ☮ Photo magic by Sandwillow

നധ John McAfee’s Seven Tips ~ Streamline your Life

Who is Web — Mon, 06 Jan 2014 20:51:32 +0000

My second recommendation: STREAMLINE YOUR LIFE – A ZEN APPROACH TO LIVING

One of the fundamental problems of our existing socio-economic structure is that our perceived obligations frequently motivate us to take on far more responsibilities, activities and interests than we can properly attend to. We take on a large portion of these responsibilities without giving them much thought. It is easy to take on a given responsibility but frequently extremely difficult to drop it. And there’s our problem. We should all take advantage of this New Year to try to drop those responsibilities which can be more appropriately taken up by others and to streamline our lives so that we have more time to pay attention to those things that need attention, and to care for those people that are dear to us in our lives.

We all need to sit down and fearlessly look at each and every responsibility and activity of our lives and without pre-judgement drop those that are obviously burdensome, or that we are no longer interested in attending to – responsibilities that could more easily be handled by others. Let’s look at some obvious examples that most people might overlook:

Knowledge of the impending arrival of children into this world often takes us by surprise. Yet most of us bravely take up the responsibility for these children even though the children were not exactly asked for. Years later we may think differently. It would be nice to simply buy food and clothing for all our children and let them do as they will. However, the modern-day structure of our legal system demands that we take full responsibility for our children’s actions. This is a daunting thought and one which causes us to pause . However, there is a new organization that has recently been established that will, for a substantial fee, take full legal responsibility for your children and contract them back into your care. You may therefore enjoy them or ignore them at will, and can without any worries whatsoever, be completely unconcerned with whatever damage they may or may not do in this world. The abdication of responsibility for your children, whether they were wanted or unwanted, is one of the most freeing sensations a human being can feel. You should contact the organization in question – the McAfee Freedom Foundation – if you have any interest whatsoever in relieving yourself of responsibility for your children. The friendly staff at the foundation can point you to other viable options if the cost of our program is prohibitive. We are far more interested in your freedom than our profits. Viable options range from selling your children outright to any number of Asian agencies, (which, depending on age and other factors, will frequently pay handsomely), to sending them off to one of a list of recommended British boarding schools which we have vetted. Some of the options might be interpreted by overzealous agencies as bordering on statute violations in some venues, but we are certain that a competent lawyer could easily counter these claims.

We can all recognize that the energies poured into child rearing rank way up there. However, that does not mean that the little habitual activities that we engage in on a daily basis should be ignored. On the contrary, this is usually where we gain the greatest benefit for the least effort. Ask yourself – who benefits from the energy that you put into your daily bathing? It is certainly not yourself.

The process depletes essential skin oils, abrades the skin, removes micro parasites whose presence is necessary for bio-balance and health, and wastes precious water. Abandoning the practice would place any residual burden, such as dealing with olfactory unpleasantness, squarely on the shoulders of your family and coworkers – a concern you need not worry about. Likewise, in this age of digital imaging and laser printing, which has given rise to a burgeoning cottage industry in cheap but undetectable fake ID’s, have you questioned the value of adhering to traffic laws? A questioning mind might run the numbers and acquire a drivers license in the name of Zaphod Beeblebrox or Christopher Gollum, and then unburden the mind from having to comprehend and commit to memory the tedious and often conflicting laws governing driving a car.

Getting back to big issues, and let’s use marriage as an example. People frequently get married because they are simply unaware of the multitude of options available to them. Many come to mind right off the top of my hat, such as sawing your leg off at the knee. I am certain that many of my readers would agree that if this were the only option to marriage available, they would unquestionably reach for the saw. Preferable options would certainly occur to even the casual observer if some small thought was put into it. If you’re already married then all is still not lost. Many of you, of course, will have already considered the old standbys such as offing your spouse and turning yourself into the police, or shoving ice picks into your own ears so that you no longer are forced to listen to your spouse’s annoying drivel, and due to the extreme nature of the solution, have abandoned hope. But history has provided countless creative solutions to this archetypal problem, many of which are quick and simple – the problem merits a bit more of your thought. I personally favor paying some hugely attractive, intelligent and charismatic person to steal away your spouse’s heart and convince them to run away with them. Once out of the house, tweet everyone you know and alert them to your plight, change all the locks in the house and, if children are involved, collect them up and buy them each a one way ticket to the country to which your spouse has run off, and then soundly congratulate yourself. As a precautionary practice, you might want to sell all of your spouse’s belongings which they left behind so that any attempt on your spouse’s part to legally return can be more effectively countered.

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©WEB~2014 ☮

നധ John McAfee’s Seven Tips for a Better 2014 ~ Expand your Knowledge….

Who is Web — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 02:58:27 +0000

JM: I will give you my Seven Recommendations to have a Better 2014. One a day for the next week – well, as long as I’m not taken hostage by Somalian Pirates.

This is my first recommendation: EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD

The most important thing a person can do is to more completely familiarize themselves with the world around them. Your world is composed primarily of the things immediately around you. Your wife, your boss, your children, your neighbors, and all of the people and things that you interact with on a daily basis. As for children, we should not concern ourselves too much. As long as they are out of the house and out of our hair we should be happy. Our greatest concern should be with our spouses. Wives or husbands can be serious problems from time to time. In rare cases they can be deadly problems. So we must first and foremost concern ourselves with the doings of our husbands or wives. Since everyone has smart phones these days and since there are hundreds of spy ware applications available on the web at reasonable prices – and since these applications can be installed in a matter of moments, I recommend strongly that each of you purchase such applications and surreptitiously install them on your spouses phone. These applications allow you, from a distance, to turn on the microphone or the video camera, allowing you to listen to phone conversations or visually monitor anything within range of the phone’s camera. The software also allowed you to read any texts that are sent and received, even if they have been deleted.

By making yourself more knowledgeable about your spouse’s whereabouts and activities you become closer to your spouse and see things far more objectively. This objectivity allows you to make decisions more effectively and to have a happier and healthier life with your spouse. It also gives you greater control in the relationships and allows you to take charge in situations where you previously would have had no power.

The next most important relationship in the average life is the relationship that you have with your boss. In a normal boss/employee relationship the employee has limited power and limited flexibility. What is necessary is to make friends with your boss, at least enough to allow you in some circumstance or other to ask to borrow his phone, because yours may have run out of battery power or some other thing may have happened, and your call is critical so your boss will understand. While using the phone you surreptitiously download the appropriate software and do the same thing that you have done with your spouse. It’s amazing what will be discovered when one starts monitoring one’s boss’s activities. A person will soon discover that their boss is as imperfect as they are, or indeed as is anyone. It is very, very important, in this context, to record and save all communications because bosses are notoriously disbelieving when it comes to certain employee presentations. Appropriate documentation in these situations can be enormously helpful.

You must be judicious in your application of the knowledge that you learn about your boss. There are appropriate and inappropriate times to talk to your boss about information that you have learned and appropriate and inappropriate goals that you might hope to achieve. Appropriate times are when you need a raise, when you would like a promotion, or day off. Your wish to work at home – never coming to the office, or demands that your boss never call you and double your salary may only be possible if your boss’s activities fall into the category of “extraordinary”. It may indeed be possible under rare circumstances. This will depend, of course, upon your diligence and perseverance in establishing a closer relationship with your boss through a deeper understanding of his person. Such a relationship, like the blossoming relationship with your spouse, can be enormously harmonious.

This same principle can be applied to all of your relationships, depending upon their perceived importance. Once you have embarked upon the path of improving your knowledge of the world around you, you will be actually surprised at the changes in your life and the enormous freedom you will feel.

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As anticipated, John has provided us with highly insightful words of advice to keep in mind as 2014 throws obstacles in our paths. His long list of new endeavors will make it impossible for him to slow down, so we’ll just have to keep watching. I thank John for taking time out of his Holidays just for us, and of course, for never disappointing.

©WEB~2014 ☮

നധ McAfee Weekly…….New Beginnings

Who is Web — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 19:53:59 +0000

First from WEB: I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, whether you celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or any other day special to you. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you’ve gotten an extended vacation because the holiday fell in the middle of the week. Hopefully, that’s given everyone lots of family time, reminding us all of Christmas’ when we were young. Maybe it allowed you the time to volunteer for a cause dear to your heart. Or perhaps you got that long awaited, much needed vacation. At our house, we’re still in mellow mode, which personally, I’d like to stick around for awhile …….morning coffee and Kahlua will be greatly missed when things get back to normal. But back to ‘normal’ is exactly where we all must head soon…..the New Year is here, and thoughts of upcoming responsibilities will sneak into our minds as the days go on. My best wishes for a great 2014 go out to each of you. ☮

Of course there were parties, and firework-filled celebrations around the World to ring in 2014. Some made resolutions (I never do), many drank too much (I’ve been known to), but ultimately most of us have wishes of good things in the year ahead (I always do). Be it health, wealth, love, success or ‘world peace’☮, we approach every January 1st with an optimistic view of all that could be. But never in my wildest imagination did I anticipate the events of the last year. No way. My family remains healthy and happy, for which I am extremely grateful, and certainly wished for. What was extraordinary were the other events that occurred throughout the year….events that hadn’t even existed in my slightly-hung-over thought process of Jan. 1st, 2013.

~An Internet education……the good, the bad, and the ugly.

~More computer knowledge in several months than my entire life to that point.

~A blog….not a familiar territory then, just like home now. Thanks for reading.

~Exclusive conversations with John McAfee….for McAfee Weekly.

~New friends…..after weeding out the freaks, there really were some.

~An amazing job offer….and a totally cool job

~Never knowing what will be next…..and liking it.

~And more….

And so, my thoughts turn to John, and what feelings he has about the year ahead. After all, without him, none of this would be happening. Last year at this time JM was deep in the Heartland, making his way to Portland, and couldn’t have possibly anticipated the roller coaster ride he’s been riding. It seems to me that he’s paid his dues, and should be allowed the luxury of this New Year being more peaceful….if that’s what he wants ;)~ . Honestly, when I stop and think about what it must be like, I’m not sure how people in the public eye do it. Being under a microscope wouldn’t fly for me….. but back to JM’s thoughts on the New Year….. I think we need some McAfadvice. I wonder if he’ll be available. *Big smile*….he’s got some time for us.

WEB: We’re starting 2014 with a New Moon (fairly rare – last was 19 yrs. ago), which is said to bring good luck and new beginnings. What, if any, ‘new beginnings’ are you looking forward to in 2014?

JM: I have initiated a number of new projects that, hopefully, will improve my deteriorating public image and re-focus my energies into more conservative and acceptable pursuits.

The first one is my Somalia Marketing Initiative. It is clear that the powers that be have no real intention to address the huge issue of piracy on the high seas and the piracy profession will continue expand at an exponential rate for the foreseeable future. As things stand now, Somalia Pirates, as a collective, earn more yearly revenues from piracy than the GNP of Brazil, and approximately 98% of this revenue stream is spent outside the country. While this may in fact create a dangerously lopsided trade imbalance that could burden future generations of pirates and devastate the pirate profession at large, it represents for the moment a huge untapped market that should bear fruit for a dozen or more years if properly managed.

Since there is no current marketing plan to address the buying needs of pirates, this enormous wealth is currently being siphoned away by world class scam artists and unscrupulous opportunists, to the detriment of both the the pirates and the world economy as a whole.

My approach to mining this untapped resource is two-fold:

First there needs to exist a country-wide education program to help the pirate community develop safe, sane and effective purchasing programs to help protect themselves from those con men and scam artists that currently have a stranglehold on the buying public in Somalia. The pirate community needs to understand its purchasing options, and formal purchasing procedures need to be established to weed out people and organizations whose whole intent is to take advantage of the Pirates’ naiveté in accepted ethical business practices.

The second thing that needs to be produced is a comprehensive buyers catalog that can be distributed for free to all pirates that meet certain minimum buyer criteria. The catalog addresses both their professional and their personal buying needs. Since Internet access in Somalia is either non functional or non existent, depending on geographic area, and since the majority of pirates are illiterate, the catalog will be distributed on a simple touch screen video device that will display pictures linked to explanatory videos dubbed in the Somali language. For example: the opening screen has only two pictures. The first depicts a large cargo ship being chased by speedboats filled with men brandishing a variety of weapons. When touched, a screen appears with pictures of each class of appropriate weapon, interception and boarding devices, and the chase and escape vehicles that would be needed in the effective carrying out of the pirate profession.

The second photo depicts a contented pirate at ease, in front of a large estate wearing sophisticated clothing and surrounded by scantily clad Nubian women and attentive servants. When touched, photos depicting the standard classes of recreational and entertainment products and services appears.

The catalog comes with a custom satellite phone with one single button. When pressed, the buyer is instantly connected to his area sales representative who takes orders and arranges for expeditious delivery and secure payment.

If you have a product or service that you feel merits inclusion in our catalog, please contact myself, or my associate Edward Snowden at your earliest convenience. Space is limited.

My other new projects include “Opinions inc.”, which addresses a growing problem today; knowing what to think about the huge and growing number of issues in the world. Subscribers will have full time access to a personal advisor who will guide them as they navigate the delicate business and social interactions that present themselves throughout the day.

My third initiative is “Decisions Inc.” – the next logical step for subscribers to Opinions Inc. Decisions Inc. subscribers can relieve themselves of any responsibility whatsoever for their own lives by turning over all decision making responsibility to us. Thus, the truly difficult or intimidating choices we all must face, such as whether or not to approach a particular someone at a singles gathering, or whether or not to propose marriage to someone you already met (or would like to meet), will be decided by our professional decision makers. All subscribers will wear a full time, nearly invisible earpiece and will be equipped with a tiny wearable video camera and microphone. Professional decision makers will monitor the subscriber’s every action and will prompt them in each and every situation requiring a decision.

Those interested in becoming a subscriber should apply early. Numbers will be limited for the first few years.

WEB: (must stop giggling) From what we’ve all read, you’ve lived a pretty exciting, and colorful life. It seems you live every moment to the fullest, and frankly show little signs of slowing down…..your above answer makes that clear. Over the last year there have been countless comments made on whoismcafee.com by people who either want to be you or hang out with you. So, with that in mind, what advice would you have for us mere mortals to make the most of this New Year?

Upon realizing the magnitude of the question, John offered to provide not one but seven responses to my query. I have created a new post so his answers will all be under one heading, and will add to them daily. Enjoy.

In closing, as 2014 starts it’s ‘New Beginning’, I would like to (publicly) thank John McAfee and Francois Garcia/Impact Future Media for having the confidence (the smart ass me says ‘insight’.. lol) to offer me, an unknown, such an amazing job. To say the last 6 months have been a pleasure would be an understatement. Last year at this time I could never have imagined I’d be sitting ‘here’ right now. It’s been a blast this far, with so much more to come, and my deepest gratitude goes to both of you. Cheers to New Beginnings.

This year has me really, really excited….it’s going to be FAN-f*c%ing-TASTIC.

Bring on 2014……I’m ready. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯